This Isn't The Bebop
by Darth Avery
Summary: One-shot in which a Corgi shows up on the Normandy. Shepard is hesitant. Cuteness ensues from every angle. Rated T for language, though there really isn't a lot of it.


**This Isn't The Bebop**

_Author's Note: Everyone in space should have a Corgi, damn it. I feel like this story is just trolling though… even though it's more like a sick fantasy. I'd just say my Shepard isn't exactly a paragon or renegade, just a hard-ass with an occasional soft spot for things like cigarettes and Drell assassins. Also, forgive me if you think she'd make a better decision, but I looooove to imagine Shepard as a smoker. Not like, a chain smoker, but like, a pack a week behind the scenes, cause it's stressful saving the galaxy and having to wait until the last minute to get some sex. Enough of this babble though, I own nothing except my fantasy of Raquel Shepard and this story. Sorry BioWare, but I'm borrowing your people for a minute. _

"Disgusting." Raquel Shepard said nonchalantly, a cigarette between her fingers, staring into the distance. She leaned on a wall in Omega, near the lower entrance to Afterlife, Thane and Miranda on either side of her, staring as well. Thane let out a small cough, reacting to the smoke from Shepard hitting his face, while Miranda just breathed it in; Just another smoker in her life. Shepard took one more long drag, and dropped the butt to the dirty ground, right next to what appeared a long dried Turian bloodstain. Stomping on it with the toe of her boot, she continued her thought, "I don't understand how anyone could stand it here. In this chaos and filth."

"Life has thrived under less than optimum conditions since it was created," He hesitated, " Shepard." He was always so precise in his speech, so formal, yet he didn't want to show emotions. It was always "siha" in private, but "Shepard" when others were around. This always perplexed Raquel, the cold exterior he tried to put on when in public, though it often fell through. She'd seen him cry more than once, and been the warmth that melted him away when the lids of prying eyes were shut or averted. Raquel just shook her head and let out a sigh. He didn't like it how she smoked, or drank, or sometimes made harsh decisions on an impulse; but, he liked that she was a warm body to sleep with at night, that she would bring him into her embrace in his moments of crisis, and the way they loved one another despite a bleak future with his Kepral's.

"Yeah, well the people here by choice, not by necessity." Shepard pointed out. She pushed herself off the wall, "I don't know about you, but I've se-" She was interrupted by a beep in her ear, coming from her visor. "What is it, Joker?"

His voice chimed into her ear, "Commander, we've got something in the ship. I don't know what the hell it is and EDI didn't get a good enough glimpse to identify it. Can you come check it out?"

She let out a sigh and started walking, Thane and Miranda following behind. "Yeah, just tell Mordin to get ready too. I'm not going into some exploration of a mysterious species without the expert."

* * *

"Ah. Shepard. Ready for search?" Said Mordin. A giddy smile stretched across his face as he pulled out his pistol.

Shepard stared for a second, then hit the button for the elevator. "Well, whatever it is, I just want it out of my ship." The doors shut as they slowly inched down to the Fourth deck. Once it reached, they left and headed to engineering. Mordin continued in towards Tali, while Shepard went down to Jack's 'hidey-hole'. "Hey Jack!" Shepard yelled upon reaching the bottom step, "You hear anything down here lately?" Shepard had just finished when a boot flew past her head, hitting the wall behind her.

Jack was lying down, and proceeded to sit up, rubbing her temple. "The fuck, Shepard?"

"Well," Raquel crossed her arms, "I'd knock if you had a door."

"Go to hell." Jack revealed a middle finger to the Commander without even looking, eliciting nothing but an eye roll from Shepard. "I haven't heard anything, on account of me being asleep. Now can I please go back to popping Miranda's balloon ass in my dreams? Thanks." She lied back on her bench, leaving Shepard to just stare at her. She turned around and began wandering up the stairs before seeing Mordin at the top, holding something large and round in his arms that was obscured by the shadows. It wiggled back and forth, and made a panting noise. Suddenly, as Shepard drew close enough, it leaped out of his arms and onto Shepard.

The thing landed into her chest, "SHIT!" She yelled upon impact, falling backwards down the stairs into the below deck where Jack tried to rest. She tumbled backward, finally hitting bottom on her back. A weight was on her chest as she rested her head back. Shepard was uninjured, but Mordin still ran down to check on her. "God…" Shepard muttered as she opened her eyes to see the beast that did this.

It was short, long and log shaped, with tan and white hair covering its entire body. The stubby legs jabbed into Raquel's stomach, and its head covered the little light source. It had a long snout, large triangular ears, and a tongue falling out of its open mouth. "ARF!" It yelled, in a husky voice, then preceded to plant one long lick on Shepard's face.

"Augh!" She said, pushing the thing off her and quickly standing up. It stood at her feet, albeit very low to the ground, and wiggled its butt, especially the little nub of a tail on it. Mordin stood next to her, hands behind his back. "Solus, mind telling me what the hell this is?"

"Ah, yes. Human-bred Canine. Judging by the stature, build and tail, or lack of, I'd say it's breed is a Pembroke Welsh Corgi." he knelt down onto one knee and began to pat its head. The dog shut its eyes and sat down, taking in full enjoyment of this positive attention. "Friendly in general, breed said to be very intelligent and good house pet. No idea how one managed to find ship and get on board, much less reach the fourth level. Further research may be needed."

Raquel crossed her arms and stared at it. '_A pet?'_ She thought, _'I didn't even get one of those lousy fish or hamsters from that souvenir shop on the Citadel. What on earth am I going to do with this dog?' _"Arf!" It yelled again, demanding the Commander's attention. She picked it up on its sides, staring the dog in the face. "Listen…" She lifted it up, so as to get a view of the groin, "…Miss, I don't know why you seem to like me, but I can assure you that you'll not be staying." With that, she took the dog and tucked it under her right arm. "EDI! Get the crew together in the comm room. We have something we all need to discuss."

* * *

You could hear the small scratches of little paws at the door and the quiet whimpers as a handful of the Normandy's crew stood around that large table. Shepard stood there, trying to ignore the noise, her arms crossed in intense concentration. "Well, what do you all think? It's my ship, and I have the final say, but I'd like to hear the opinion of my crew before throwing this dog out to Omega."

Yeoman Chambers leaned forward and said "I believe a dog on board would boost morale on missions. The inclusion of a pet into stressful situations often helps to eliminate tension and provide a loving companion, especially in space."

"I agree with Miss Chambers." Said Miranda, "As a child, my dog was perhaps the hardest thing to leave when I abandoned my father. Mariana was the closest thing to me, and helped me to escape… to a point." Shepard nodded, taking both the female points of view into consideration.

Then out of nowhere, Thane spoke. "Raquel," His voice was stern, but somewhat pleading. Shepard was instantly alarmed that she was referred to by her first name, an informality Thane never used before, "You said earlier that no one would choose to live on this environment, with its grime and disgust. So, why should we force this creature into it? It should stay, at least until we find it a better home." Raquel looked down at her hands on the table. She hated admitting weakness, especially when it came to things she didn't particularly like. Dogs were one of them, but the scratches at the door also seemed to scratch at her heart.

She shut her eyes and let out a sigh. "Shit." she quietly muttered to herself. Lifting her hands and clasping them together, she addressed out loud, "Alright!" Shepard walked to the door and opened it, allowing the dog to run in and circle the entire table, taking in the scents of the crew. She finally stopped at Miranda's heels, and began licking her boot. Miranda let out a rare smirk, then returned her gaze to the commander, who'd returned to her former position at head of the table. Shepard continued, "So, what shall we call her?"

* * *

"Come on, Brev." said Shepard to the dog, nuzzling at her feet. "Time for bed." She placed her toothbrush on the counter of her bathroom, and sauntered into bed next to Thane, dog right behind her. As she pulled the covers up above her waist, she noticed Brevia still on the side of the bed, staring at her. "Well, come on! You can get up here this bed is short." The dog's face turned from serious, as her brow furrowed and she let out a small bark. "Oh fine!" Shepard threw the covers off her legs, and picked the dog up from the side of the bed, placing her gently at the foot of the bed, careful not to rest the dog on any actual feet. As Shepard climbed back into bed, Brevia laid down and, releasing a large yawn, rolled onto her side for sleep. Raquel stared at the dog for a minute, then back to Thane, gently asleep in one of his eidetic dreamscapes, then once more to the dog. Shepard lied back and shut her eyes, wondering how such a woman could feel an attachment to things so unlike her, but yet still be so thankful for it.

_(I don't know how to end stories, or to write Thane in a somewhat absurd situation. HE'S JUST SO DRY. ((No species pun intended)) Also, just in case you're wondering, Brevia is derived from brevis, which is Latin for "short". har har har, I'm so cool. Thanks for reading.)_


End file.
